At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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