What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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