Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
