he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
