): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
not ubering you a puppy
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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