yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
