The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
