New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
