She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
