Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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