I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
