Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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