Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
"it" just moved
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
