you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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