Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
