You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
