We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
