How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
