just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
