Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I want to make a zoo with you.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
