I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
