Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
