i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
