he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
