it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
