I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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