Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
