I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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