theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
