it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
smell my finger.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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