i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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