No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
