actually, I'm a sock model
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
