"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize
