Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
