I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
