I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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