eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
