I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
