I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
