You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
