You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
