at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
