shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
only you would photoshop your dick
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
