She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
