i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
