She's JV to your varsity
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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