so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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