help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
