We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
