I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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